Still Finding It Hard

That’s me, I am the mum walking around Sainsbury’s crying silently to myself hoping that no one notices. I could stay at home and cry but I am sick of being indoors. 

I have to confess that the last few weeks have been the hardest weeks I have had since giving birth to my son.

It got worse the last two weeks, he cried all day and all night and I have never felt so low in my life.

I felt so helpless and alone for the first time since becoming a mother.

He just wouldn’t stop crying I tried everything I changed him, fed him (he refused to eat), tried to cuddle him I even gave him another bath! But nothing worked. 

I sadly even had to turn to Google I have been trying not to do that too much as the results always scare me but I can’t help myself. 

I am someone that doesn’t like to show my feelings I hate showing people that I am not alright or that I am struggling I see it as a weakness. 

I just wanted to speak to someone or have someone hug me and tell me it will be ok, it’s just a baby being a baby.

I can’t talk to my partner because I don’t want him to worry him so he doesn’t know the full extent and I dare not talk to my mum as she wouldn’t understand. She makes me feel like it is my fault or I am doing something wrong. 

I sometimes go to Sainsbury’s just for the adult interaction just to have someone to talk too. I know weird does anyone else do this? 

So this is how I ended up walking around Sainsbury’s crying silently to myself. I am sure that I look very weird and if someone really looks closely they will be able to see the bags under my eyes and the tired look on my face and the food stains on my clothes.

But it’s fine I made it through Sainsbury’s and I made it through the day and the week., but I have to say it was the worst week that I have had so far and I am still finding it hard.

I can admit it that’s fine I am no longer hiding and pretending to be “Fine”. I know that I still have a long way to go and there are many ups and downs to go.

Do you have any advice on how to cope when I am having a bad week? What gets you out of the funk?

Thank you, Mummy Bee

MummyB

Hello Welcome to my Blog. I decided to write a blog to share my experience and life as a new mum and more. I hope you enjoy reading it. Mummy Bee